Inevitable losing.....

I relaxed my hair on schedule last week.  I sectioned off my hair using tiny rubber bands with each section being small enough to reach my new growth without over processing.  I processed all but the bottom four inches of my head with the top center getting the longest time.  The bottom 4 inches is thinning pretty rapidly and there was notihing to relax.   I was glad that I'd gone ahead and cut off the 3 inches of hair prior to my service.  It would have been a mess to see the loss.  Some would call it a setback, I know better.

I credit all of the changes to my hair texture and depth to me discontinuing nioxin.  Whatever is in it, truly did thicken my strands and kept my hair loss from accelerating.  Now that I am off of it, its like a race to lose with my strands.  The appearance of my hair is dramatically different than it was just 4 months ago.  Sad because I truly tried to find a replacement for the Nioxin, but so far, nothing worked.  Right now,  the thinning is diffuse and mostlly affecting only the right side of my head.  I googled the problem and like everything else, I am not alone.  Multiple posters have indicated the same weirdness but so far no solution has been found.

Losing stinks. Acknowledging failure and inevitability stinks, looking at my long stringy, lifeless strands stinks, looking at my scalp through my hair stinks.  All of it.

Today isn't a good day.  I guess I'd  better quickly locate that "blaze of glory" attitude that my sister mentioned to me last year.

...it had to be done

After months and months of watching my thin and scraggly ends grow out into wisps, I finally cut 2 inches off the ends of my hair. I did it myself using a tiny rubberband. I still cut it uneven but it does look better. I am sort of glad to remove this from my focus. I hated having the long hair that you can literally see through. Each time before I cut it all I noticed were the thinned ends... Of course now those pictures aren't quite as disturbing.

Picture pre-cut

After cut

I haven't been happy since the cut. It's hard to admit that my efforts failed. A year ago I was determined to grow out the damage and do just what I have done now... Cut them. Yet I feel sad that I couldn't saved them. I've heard for years that damaged ends can't be saved or mended but I'd hoped.

Compounding what I feel is the fact the although it seems I've slowed my thinning... The damage isn't correcting.  The ends of my hair in the front and sides are paper thin.  I honestly feel like chopping all of my hair off. It I felt it would grow back even and healthy I would... But I know better. Chopping my thinning hair will leave me with no comb over, which would just be too much to bear right now.

Flax seeds?

Back in July my mom let me evaluate and fix her hair. Then, it was dry, wiry, thinning and breaking. She had given up and seemed ok with her decision to do so. After I'd finished doing her hair, she looked and felt do good... She asked me to tell her how to take care of  it.   I told her that I couldn't fix the thinning.... But everything else was on the table! She faithfully fully co-washed,oiled, deep conditioned and added fruits, vegetables nuts and ground flax seeds to her juice everyday.

 We took video of her hair at the start so that she could see any results. Well six months later... Her bald spots are all covered with fine growing hair! It's not as thick as before but it's thicker than peach fuzz and covers the shiny spots. The rest of her hair is shiny, truck and vibrant. It's still drier than she'd like but it's 100% in better shape than 5 months before.

I was jealous that she has real hair regrowth using a regimen that I'd developed and use faithfully without achieving any regrowth . How?? I've been on my regimen for 12 months! My hair is thriving but no regrowth. I juice although not everyday like she does. I take my vitamins, herbs and supplements faithfully and she takes none.

I asked her to list everything that she takes internally daily so that I could research each for hair regrowth benefits.  Nothing she took seemed to suggest any real benefit to our cause. She then mentioned added flax seeds to her juices about 4 months after she started mixing them up. She was trying to reduce her cholesterol. Could that be it???  I realized that the flax seeds is the only thing she does differently than I do... I started researching.

It seems that ground flax seeds have ligans and fatty acids that have been shown to re-grow hair. I found board after board in support of this. Most users saw some measure of regrowth, while some saw nothing.  I figured it worth a try.  I ordered up flaxseeds and oil...so we shall see.  Wouldn't be something if its true?


~Hopeful...

New Year with New Reality

The new year is always a reflective time for me because I was born January 20th.  Each year this I try to reconcile my dreams with my realities of getting older.  I try to plan for my next year with the hope that I will see my desires come to pass.

I haven't relaxed my hair since October's underprorcessing.  I didn't think I would make it.  Things got pretty bad back around 8 weeks and I began to question my goals.  Why was I trying so hard? When would I just give up..give in?  Who was I trying to fool?  Back at week 10, I washed my hair like I normally do, but I over clarified it and it matted at the roots and knots at the ends.  I was mortified.  It took me six hours of repeated deep conditioning with my "A" products and lots of oil before I could get my fingers through it, let alone a comb.

The fiasco made me wonder if that was a long hair problem or a mixed texture problem?  I still don't know and it hasn't happened again.  I've seen videos of ladies washing in braids and I guess maybe I will have to consider the same soon.  Problem is that I cannot stand my wet hair on my back so shower washing is not an option for me.  I know that washing hair over head may have contributed to the tangles but I am not sure how I can change.

My vitamin regimen is still the same.  When I last posted about it, I mentioned getting back on fish oil.  I can honestly say it has helped to pump up the vitality of my hair. Especially on one side where it just would hang limp and dry.  Its holding curl again and its back to being springy. Fish oil is definitely here to stay for me.

Overall my hair is in decent shape.  Those three inches I needed to let go of back six months ago have hung around too long now and  make my hair look awful.  Yes my hair is long but its not looking good.  The last 4 inches of my hair in the back is heat damaged, stringy,  thin and I just hate it.  I cut off about 1.5 inches of the ends last month and  I am trying to grow my hair another 2 inches before I completely blunt my ends and be rid of them.

I realize now that my bald areas aren't coming back.  They just aren't.  I think I am ok with that reality.  Not because I have accepted defeat in my effort,  but I have accepted that I am blessed to be able to have enough hair to cover those spots...for now.

Happy New Year with All of the best to you and thank you for following my plight!

~JKPS

@eight weeks

It sure seems that time is flying by. Just eight weeks ago I was happy to celebrate the intentional under processing of my relaxer. Today at " the real eight weeks" things are just..head shaking.

 Since I under processed to about the texture of my toots to that of my 6-8 week hair, now at 8 weeks things feel rough. My hair is unruly and a little difficult to manage. It's going to be a long 5 weeks, but I'm determined to see it through.  I am not sure I will do this again, but if I do, I'll have to change my relaxer schedule.

Below is a picture of a shed strand from this week. I examined it carefully and noticed the distinct change in texture at about 5 inches. The bottom 5 inches is thin and pin straight. Ths I attribute to my prior relaxer habits of over processing. The top 6 inches make me happy. It's definitely thicker and still has a wave. This shows that as my hair is growing... It's stronger than the bottom. All because I changed how and when I relax my hair. Very cool to see evidence of focus. Very cool.

I'm still taking supplements and have some success with Ayurveda,  specifically bhringraj oil and supplements. Not  all over , but the the front and sides are thick and growing faster than it was prior to adding this to my line up.  Its so thick it mskes the back look stringy.  Funny how some products work differently on some parts of the same head than others.

  I trimmed off about 1.5 inches of the back to remove the pin straight ends. They were dry and frizzy, but weren't split. They just wouldn't cooperate.  I felt I needed about a three inch trim for some time now.  Ill trim sgain in the spring. Hopefully I'm on my way to healthier ends now.


Feeling ok about things this week!

Later~

Trees of AGA

Funny how you can't see the forest for the trees!!!

 For 3.5 years I have taken Omega 3 fish oil, specifically Barleans Omega 3.  Fed up with taking pills for my hair loss and not being able to "see" results, I ended this supplement back in September of this year.  Since then I have noticed my strands getting more and more limp when I hadn't changed anything else in my regimen.  Each week I have watched my hair change texture, resist my trusted roller set and just hang limp with no vitality.  I was reviewing video of my hair from late August and was just in awe of the thickness I saw and asked myself...what the heck happened!!! I have not had breakage or long strand loss, so where did the hair go.  

The hair hadn't "gone" anywhere.  Thanks to my blog, I went back and noted that I ended both purvana, wheat germ oil and fish oil in early September.   Of these three, I felt that I still had the benefits of both wheat germ and purvana in other supplements I have moved on to....but not the fish oil.  My hair was still there but it just wasn't as vibrant, thick or healthy.

I went to the Barleans website and read the label for the product I'd discontinued taking....and sure enough.... among the exepcted ingredients fish oil, and vitamine e...... in the products is soy lecithin and rosemary.  Both of these products have been shown to increase thickness and boost the vitality of hair. Not only does this product help with the general wellness of my body, omega 3 has been shown to increase heart health, lower cholesterol levels and increases eye health!  EYE HEALTH??....I have been having problems with my eyes since September.... Carastasis is dramatic dryness that makes it painful to open the eye  in bright light. I'd seen two doctors and have been taking various steroid eye drops for months to ease the symptoms.  Light bulbs went off!! Fish oil was working for me in more ways than one.  I was so focused on the bald spots that I hadn't noticed the effect of the product on the overall appearance of my hair or my complete well being.  I literally ran out to vitamin shoppe and purchased my old faithful and I'm back on it to stay. I hope to see some return of both my eye health and my hair shine soon.

Being in the forest of AGA has a way of blinding me to much more important things. Not that AGA isn't important but its not the ONLY thing.  Lessen Learned!

Hair weird-ness

For several months I have had weird texture change in the lower back half of my hair.  The entire area has become extremely fine and curly.  Now, my family has a trademark curly patch in the rear of our head of hair, but this is extreme.  Due to AGA  I have noticeably thinner  hair month by month over the past three years, the last year the hair has become very fine and curly.  I wondered if this is the real reason I've been able to stretch my relaxers? There is almost no kink. I dare say its like the regrowth of a cancer patients hair.....it grows in fine and curly despite the fact that I do not have "3" anything hair.  Maybe that's the normal I will have when my " AGA hair fall process"  is done?

This has been a good week.  Very soft bouncy hair, no heat needed and no breakage.  I've been happy with it, but find that the bouncy roller set Ive worn for almost years...isn't really working anymore.  The curls are so long they stretch out and hang low.  Good for those without AGA but it makes my hair look weird.  I don't know what to do but get a hair cut....which I really cannot bring myself to do. A bun has never worked for my large head but I need to find someway to protect my ends as my hair is growing out. That's a work in progress for me.

I never cared about my having long hair..not the bra strap length kind anyway.  Since I've changed my focus and habits my hair has grown longer than it has been since I was a little girl.  Too bad it took having AGA to figure out how reckless I was with it.  

Honestly I would give up the length in a heartbeat to have re-growth on the bald spots.  Funny how that goes huh?

later~