New Year with New Reality

The new year is always a reflective time for me because I was born January 20th.  Each year this I try to reconcile my dreams with my realities of getting older.  I try to plan for my next year with the hope that I will see my desires come to pass.

I haven't relaxed my hair since October's underprorcessing.  I didn't think I would make it.  Things got pretty bad back around 8 weeks and I began to question my goals.  Why was I trying so hard? When would I just give up..give in?  Who was I trying to fool?  Back at week 10, I washed my hair like I normally do, but I over clarified it and it matted at the roots and knots at the ends.  I was mortified.  It took me six hours of repeated deep conditioning with my "A" products and lots of oil before I could get my fingers through it, let alone a comb.

The fiasco made me wonder if that was a long hair problem or a mixed texture problem?  I still don't know and it hasn't happened again.  I've seen videos of ladies washing in braids and I guess maybe I will have to consider the same soon.  Problem is that I cannot stand my wet hair on my back so shower washing is not an option for me.  I know that washing hair over head may have contributed to the tangles but I am not sure how I can change.

My vitamin regimen is still the same.  When I last posted about it, I mentioned getting back on fish oil.  I can honestly say it has helped to pump up the vitality of my hair. Especially on one side where it just would hang limp and dry.  Its holding curl again and its back to being springy. Fish oil is definitely here to stay for me.

Overall my hair is in decent shape.  Those three inches I needed to let go of back six months ago have hung around too long now and  make my hair look awful.  Yes my hair is long but its not looking good.  The last 4 inches of my hair in the back is heat damaged, stringy,  thin and I just hate it.  I cut off about 1.5 inches of the ends last month and  I am trying to grow my hair another 2 inches before I completely blunt my ends and be rid of them.

I realize now that my bald areas aren't coming back.  They just aren't.  I think I am ok with that reality.  Not because I have accepted defeat in my effort,  but I have accepted that I am blessed to be able to have enough hair to cover those spots...for now.

Happy New Year with All of the best to you and thank you for following my plight!

~JKPS