Inevitable losing.....

I relaxed my hair on schedule last week.  I sectioned off my hair using tiny rubber bands with each section being small enough to reach my new growth without over processing.  I processed all but the bottom four inches of my head with the top center getting the longest time.  The bottom 4 inches is thinning pretty rapidly and there was notihing to relax.   I was glad that I'd gone ahead and cut off the 3 inches of hair prior to my service.  It would have been a mess to see the loss.  Some would call it a setback, I know better.

I credit all of the changes to my hair texture and depth to me discontinuing nioxin.  Whatever is in it, truly did thicken my strands and kept my hair loss from accelerating.  Now that I am off of it, its like a race to lose with my strands.  The appearance of my hair is dramatically different than it was just 4 months ago.  Sad because I truly tried to find a replacement for the Nioxin, but so far, nothing worked.  Right now,  the thinning is diffuse and mostlly affecting only the right side of my head.  I googled the problem and like everything else, I am not alone.  Multiple posters have indicated the same weirdness but so far no solution has been found.

Losing stinks. Acknowledging failure and inevitability stinks, looking at my long stringy, lifeless strands stinks, looking at my scalp through my hair stinks.  All of it.

Today isn't a good day.  I guess I'd  better quickly locate that "blaze of glory" attitude that my sister mentioned to me last year.

...it had to be done

After months and months of watching my thin and scraggly ends grow out into wisps, I finally cut 2 inches off the ends of my hair. I did it myself using a tiny rubberband. I still cut it uneven but it does look better. I am sort of glad to remove this from my focus. I hated having the long hair that you can literally see through. Each time before I cut it all I noticed were the thinned ends... Of course now those pictures aren't quite as disturbing.

Picture pre-cut

After cut

I haven't been happy since the cut. It's hard to admit that my efforts failed. A year ago I was determined to grow out the damage and do just what I have done now... Cut them. Yet I feel sad that I couldn't saved them. I've heard for years that damaged ends can't be saved or mended but I'd hoped.

Compounding what I feel is the fact the although it seems I've slowed my thinning... The damage isn't correcting.  The ends of my hair in the front and sides are paper thin.  I honestly feel like chopping all of my hair off. It I felt it would grow back even and healthy I would... But I know better. Chopping my thinning hair will leave me with no comb over, which would just be too much to bear right now.

Flax seeds?

Back in July my mom let me evaluate and fix her hair. Then, it was dry, wiry, thinning and breaking. She had given up and seemed ok with her decision to do so. After I'd finished doing her hair, she looked and felt do good... She asked me to tell her how to take care of  it.   I told her that I couldn't fix the thinning.... But everything else was on the table! She faithfully fully co-washed,oiled, deep conditioned and added fruits, vegetables nuts and ground flax seeds to her juice everyday.

 We took video of her hair at the start so that she could see any results. Well six months later... Her bald spots are all covered with fine growing hair! It's not as thick as before but it's thicker than peach fuzz and covers the shiny spots. The rest of her hair is shiny, truck and vibrant. It's still drier than she'd like but it's 100% in better shape than 5 months before.

I was jealous that she has real hair regrowth using a regimen that I'd developed and use faithfully without achieving any regrowth . How?? I've been on my regimen for 12 months! My hair is thriving but no regrowth. I juice although not everyday like she does. I take my vitamins, herbs and supplements faithfully and she takes none.

I asked her to list everything that she takes internally daily so that I could research each for hair regrowth benefits.  Nothing she took seemed to suggest any real benefit to our cause. She then mentioned added flax seeds to her juices about 4 months after she started mixing them up. She was trying to reduce her cholesterol. Could that be it???  I realized that the flax seeds is the only thing she does differently than I do... I started researching.

It seems that ground flax seeds have ligans and fatty acids that have been shown to re-grow hair. I found board after board in support of this. Most users saw some measure of regrowth, while some saw nothing.  I figured it worth a try.  I ordered up flaxseeds and oil...so we shall see.  Wouldn't be something if its true?


~Hopeful...

New Year with New Reality

The new year is always a reflective time for me because I was born January 20th.  Each year this I try to reconcile my dreams with my realities of getting older.  I try to plan for my next year with the hope that I will see my desires come to pass.

I haven't relaxed my hair since October's underprorcessing.  I didn't think I would make it.  Things got pretty bad back around 8 weeks and I began to question my goals.  Why was I trying so hard? When would I just give up..give in?  Who was I trying to fool?  Back at week 10, I washed my hair like I normally do, but I over clarified it and it matted at the roots and knots at the ends.  I was mortified.  It took me six hours of repeated deep conditioning with my "A" products and lots of oil before I could get my fingers through it, let alone a comb.

The fiasco made me wonder if that was a long hair problem or a mixed texture problem?  I still don't know and it hasn't happened again.  I've seen videos of ladies washing in braids and I guess maybe I will have to consider the same soon.  Problem is that I cannot stand my wet hair on my back so shower washing is not an option for me.  I know that washing hair over head may have contributed to the tangles but I am not sure how I can change.

My vitamin regimen is still the same.  When I last posted about it, I mentioned getting back on fish oil.  I can honestly say it has helped to pump up the vitality of my hair. Especially on one side where it just would hang limp and dry.  Its holding curl again and its back to being springy. Fish oil is definitely here to stay for me.

Overall my hair is in decent shape.  Those three inches I needed to let go of back six months ago have hung around too long now and  make my hair look awful.  Yes my hair is long but its not looking good.  The last 4 inches of my hair in the back is heat damaged, stringy,  thin and I just hate it.  I cut off about 1.5 inches of the ends last month and  I am trying to grow my hair another 2 inches before I completely blunt my ends and be rid of them.

I realize now that my bald areas aren't coming back.  They just aren't.  I think I am ok with that reality.  Not because I have accepted defeat in my effort,  but I have accepted that I am blessed to be able to have enough hair to cover those spots...for now.

Happy New Year with All of the best to you and thank you for following my plight!

~JKPS